在网吧打LOL,

保洁阿姨来我身边说:这个水瓶..

我:不喝了,阿姨你拿走吧。

阿姨:不是,我是说你这个水平挺菜的。

Playing LOL in an Internet cafe,

Cleaning aunt came to my side and said: This water bottle..

Me: No, aunt, take it away.

Auntie: No, I mean you are good at this level.

猫:喵喵喵

羊:咩咩咩

狗:多喝热水

Cat: Meow, meow, meow

Sheep: Baa baa baa

Drink plenty of hot water

其实帅哥都喜欢微胖的女孩子,

如果你不喜欢我,

那是你不够帅!

In fact, handsome men like chubby girls.

If you don't like me,

That's because you're not handsome enough!

只有当你走出舒适圈,

你才会知道,

舒适圈到底有多舒适。

Only when you step out of your comfort zone,

And you'll know,

How comfortable is the comfort zone?

她喜欢星星,

你说她是公主。

我喜欢星星,

你说一局15。

She loves stars,

You said she was a princess.

I like stars,

You say a round of 15.

早餐一定要吃,

并且要学会感恩,

抛开健康问题,

你会发现:

这是一天三餐里最便宜的一顿!

You must have breakfast.

And learn to be grateful,

Health issues aside,

You'll find:

This is the cheapest meal of the day!

亲爱的上帝,

您似乎耳朵有点问题,

我去年许的愿望是脱单,

不是脱发!

Dear God,

You seem to have a problem with your ears.

The wish I made last year was to be off the list,

Not hair loss!

其实年轻的时候我也考虑过宝马,

后来又看上了野马,

最后我还是进了超市买了个沙琪玛

I actually thought about BMW when I was younger,

Then he took a fancy to wild horses,

Finally I went into the supermarket and bought a Sachima

每次一和你聊天你就要去洗澡,

怎么, 和我聊天脏到你了是吧?

Every time I talk to you, you have to take a shower.

What, talking to me makes you dirty, doesn't it?

游戏能陪我一辈子,

如果你也能,

那我以后就不打游戏了,

只打你。

Games can accompany me for a lifetime,

If you could,

Then I won't play games any more.

Just hit you.